fast times at huge-rear high

that settles it. the body i dreamed of having is just that...a dream. you know the one that's cut from rock, can push a stalled dump truck through a busy intersection without breakin a sweat, the one that makes people stare and say, "whatever, he must not have a job!". you know the body i'm talking about. the kind that sinks in water, frightens even wild animals, and glows in the dark. yeah, a hot body. well those days are officially over. my friends have known it for years. it's not that i've been in denial about my current body status, it's just that there was always this glimmer of hope that despite 28 years of fat-boy habit, somehow my personal desires would change and i would actually start to like working out. that hope is dead. i recently bought my dream tv...a Samsung 42" DLP rear-projection hi-def TV. it is awesome. i plan on watching it all the time. i can already tell my butt is starting to get wider and i don't care. life is great.